Sending second message online dating
In online forums and gaming – where many people meet their partners – how we express ourselves and our personality acts as the initial attractors.
Similarly, we try to divine as much of that information as possible from the dating profile photo and username even before we start in on the dating profile.
Even for people like me who the whole dance and the chase and the thrill of the new, there will be points when you really just want to take a step back from it for a while and catch your breath and let your ego recover from the beatings that tend to come with it. But just as when you’re trying to meet your future snugglebunny the old-fashioned way, it’s important to understand the potential headaches that come with those marathon OKCupid sessions.
Online dating takes a different attitude and skill-set than, say, making cold approaches at a bar or flirting with someone you met at a house party.
Telling somebody you’re adventurous is similarly unhelpful.
Better to talk about your recent trip to Ankor Wat or – even better – have a photo of you in front of Ta Prohm.
We often carry this mindset over into online dating and start to give one person – usually the first one to respond – all of our attention, ignoring everybody else until that first conversation has run it’s course.
This is a mistake – and one that makes online dating considerably more inefficient and tedious. Some of the oldest and most boring cliches of online dating are the people who just say that they’re some attractive quality… Saying that you’re funny or spontaneous or romantic is the dating site equivalent of “I listen to a little bit of everything except country and rap.” It’s so generic as to mean nothing.
You also have to consider where and how to present your best self.